Remember You..?

Have you ever looked into the mirror and wondered who you were, well me neither. Mainly because I don’t own a mirror, I am pretty sure, however, that if I did own one, I’d be having an Epiphany at the moment. I’ve been so lost on myself that I don’t recognise my own feelings or likings, I am just existing.
See, I have this unquenchable thirst for power and control that sometimes I get lost on( if you know me personally you are probably shaking your head in agreement, take a breathe son, I know). If I indulge in a situation or relationship that allows me to dictate terms, I am not walking away easily. It has however dawned on me that my thirst for control is ultimately my greatest weakness. Strength brings about weakness, believe me.
Being in a position of slight authority is a high I enjoy. And for the last couple of months I have had my fix on a daily basis the thing is, I got lost. So it’s Saturday evening and I am in my house (a beautiful person I know calls it a TIN and I cannot fully express how cheeky this sounds) I just came from the salon, I lost my African essence because, well, it takes a lot of time to honour my crown, time I do not have. I begin to see the ugliness of the person I have become and it’s time to go back to who I know I am.
I remember at the beginning of the year, 2018 was supposed to be my year of authenticity, appointment, and annointing. I am standing on royal appointment each day I get to work on my divine assignment. God has been with me through and through blessing everything I do. But when it comes to authenticity I have failed, terribly. Funny how the only part of my resolutions that isn’t working is the one that depends on me.
A friend of mine has this saying that perfectly relates to me, IN MY WISDOM I BECAME FOOLISH. I am a Feminist and I am a Christian, those two dictate the things I do and are thus meant to be the foundation to my authenticity.
Okay, okay, I’ll get the point now, I have been indulging a misogynist pig. I refuse to willingly listen to a conversation where women are downgraded and abused. A conversation where being a man is the only thing needed for you to be right, not the words you say or the knowledge you posses.
I even forgot what personal devotion meant, all because power and control got into my head. So why am I writing this? Mainly because I want to remind you to be true to who you are, to remind you that the promises you made to yourself matter more than anything in the world. Look around you, people are trying to figure out who they are because authenticity and truth are the most important things you can achieve.
If you are a believer, the greatest and most effective way to get over yourself is by submitting to God and His will. Whether you want to find yourself or learn to be true to who you are, God is the only one that can help.